About Me
I have been in service since a young age. My mum tells me that at about the age of 3 or 4, when I was in what is now preschool, there was a deaf child in the class, and I took him under my wing, making sure he was included.
As I grew up I remember that I was always the one fighting for the underdog and always wanted people around me to be ok.
People pleasing became part of my everyday life, from small acts that didn’t test my boundaries to bigger acts that smashed through my boundaries, to ensure that people around me were ok, with me at the bottom of my list – if everyone else was ok, then I thought I would be ok.
As a teenager, I was often the one that people came to; I was a natural coach, something I got from my dad.
My earliest memories of being interested in energy (although I didn’t understand that was what it was) are from my early teens when I got into Feng Shui and often had the mick taken out of me because of it. I was interested in ‘the other world’; was there another world? Did ghosts exist? Were psychics/mediums genuine? Nobody else around me was interested in these things, and like I’ve heard a lot over the last few years, I learnt to take the banter, took it on the chin, until I didn’t and buried my interest, as it was easier for everyone else (and for me) to not bother with this side of me.
Over the years, my people-pleasing grew stronger and I played the part of making sure I was ‘good enough’ for everybody else, behaving in the ‘right way’ to get the approval of others. Looking back, I needed to get my approval first, but these lessons come with life experience and the benefit of hindsight!
Over the years, my people-pleasing and doing the right thing, following through on what I’d said I was going to do, led me into a marriage that, looking back, wasn’t right for either of us. During the marriage, I had my precious 2 boys who I couldn’t be more proud of or love more. However, in the marriage, through motherhood, postnatal depression (twice) and working full time, I lost who I was. Depression and anxiety took over. I had CBT sessions and we had marriage counselling, none of which seemed to really help or get to the issue.
I stumbled across an 8-week mindfulness course which changed my life. It introduced me to a new way of thinking, teaching me about neuroplasticity and how it was possible to change our perceptions of life around us and start listening to ourselves again. I started to come back to who I was and started to feel a bit like the little girl who hadn’t cared about what others thought (until she did!). Getting back to her was freeing. I went on to complete a further 8-week mindfulness course that was more focused on wellbeing. After completing this course and continuing to work on myself with the techniques I had learned, I asked my husband for a divorce and continued on my spiritual/healing journey in earnest.
In 2019 I had the confidence to start my own coaching business. I first came across coaching when I ended up in a job that I didn’t like as a result of redundancy. I took a chance on something that was relatively new at the time, and it was amazing. A turning point that changed my life and I wanted to share this with others. An opportunity came years later for me to train as a coach and having coached friends for years, I decided that I was finally ready to turn it into more.
Then COVID hit. I continued anyway, single mum, starting a business, working full time, home educating and studying a further coaching qualification. My full-time job was in local government (my whole career has been in public service, in service to others) and was community-focused. Over the 18 months to 2 years of COVID, I had 6 different line managers. Work was incredibly stressful as I was also managing a team that I was trying to protect from the uncertainty and chaos that was going on above me. Needless to say, my boundaries became weak again, my people-pleasing hit new highs and I burnt out.
At one point, things got really dark.
I knew I had to make a change, and so I went back to the doctor who had tried to sign me off, but I initially refused. Then I hit rock bottom and realised that I needed to take action, ignoring it and carrying on wasn’t going to work anymore. I couldn’t go on the way I was. So I took some time out of work and focused inwards on myself.
I got a bit better, used tools from my toolbox of mindfulness, meditation, coaching exercises and I stopped studying and put my business development on hold. I started to come out the other side.
I went back to work ……. Too early!!! But it was during this period that I came across Becky and the course that would give me another life-changing moment. The course brought me joy and such a strong feeling of connection with myself and my purpose.
I became a sound healer.
I wanted to use this rediscovery of my passion for music and sound to help others. But I wasn’t quite ready yet. I did more work on myself, faced imposter syndrome, the naysayers and understanding why I behave and think the way I do.
Now, the dream I didn’t know I had of leading my own business in support of others is coming true, building slowly day by day. I am (mostly) confident, definitely happier in my own skin and have a steady and true connection to who I am inside and really know that that is enough. The people pleaser in me still tries to surface and it’s a constant (interesting and fun) journey watching how I am coming back home to me a little bit more each day.
It’s this that I want: to support you on your journey as you come back home to yourself.